A Thank You Gesture To The Siegels (or "How I Would Have Rebooted Superman")
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A Thank You Gesture To The Siegels (or "How I Would Have Rebooted Superman")
Below is my basic plan, as it was, for WB rebooting the Superman franchise, with an eye on the fact that WB is poised to lose the rights to the film. This is what I'd call the Piss On The Siegels Franchise. If I were running the show at WB, this is what I'd have done.
At this point, my solution would probably require a time machine, but, whatever, WB would announce that they're rebooting Superman and making a trilogy.
From there, for Movie 01, they proceed to make the Superman origin film that any fan would give one of his/her paired reproductive organs to see. It hits all the right notes, it gives us everything we want from a Superman and the sequel promises to be only better.
And it is! It blows the original completely out of the water. And what a cliffhanger! After Superman's powers get completely drained by the Parasite, Darkseid's minions (characters the Siegels don't own the rights to) kidnap Superman and Lois Lane (whom the Siegels do own the rights to), teleport them to Apokolips (a location the Siegels don't own the rights to) and Darkseid beats Superman absolutely senseless before shooting him (apparently) to death with a Kryptonite ray gun (a substance the Siegels don't own the rights to).
Meanwhile, Metropolis and, specifically, the Daily Star building (which the Siegels presumably own the rights to) get invaded by a vicious horde of parademons (which the Siegels don't own the rights to). Movie two of this trilogy ends on a cliffhanger and then...
Nothing.
Turns out, all the cast and crew were signed to only two films, not three. WB then issues an announcement saying that making a third film simply won't fit in to their strategy and vision for their comic book franchises at this time. 2013 comes and goes and WB loses the rights to the thing so let's let the Siegels handle the job.
Well. The Siegels can't exactly continue the story since (A) Superman seems to be dead and (B) any continuation of the story from Movie 02 requires dealing with characters, locations and other story elements the Siegels don't own the rights to.
Let's just say I, being the almighty overlord of WB, don't feel much like licensing out those things to permit the Siegels to continue.
Oh yeah, and (C) they'd likely want to bring back the original cast and crew for another film... none of whom are under contract. America had an easier time building the railroad than the Siegels would have in managing that minor miracle.
But at the same time, they can't reboot either since The Masses want to see how the existing story wraps up and are in no mood for a restart.
Leave 'em with no place to go for the movies.
Then take out an ad in Variety with just a picture of a hand facing the camera Renewing International Relations/Y'Know, Giving The Finger/Yes, I Know The Finger, Goose with a handwritten note at the bottom saying "This Bud's for you, Joanne and Laura Siegel! Good luck at the movies and fuck you, die slow! Love, WB Management".
Such a move would undoubtedly break the Internet in half with the ensuing fandom meltdown but, hey, you never made an omlette without breaking a few eggs, right? Right? Am I right?
But it'll never happen because the WB folks apparently aren't as vindictive and spiteful as I am.
At this point, my solution would probably require a time machine, but, whatever, WB would announce that they're rebooting Superman and making a trilogy.
From there, for Movie 01, they proceed to make the Superman origin film that any fan would give one of his/her paired reproductive organs to see. It hits all the right notes, it gives us everything we want from a Superman and the sequel promises to be only better.
And it is! It blows the original completely out of the water. And what a cliffhanger! After Superman's powers get completely drained by the Parasite, Darkseid's minions (characters the Siegels don't own the rights to) kidnap Superman and Lois Lane (whom the Siegels do own the rights to), teleport them to Apokolips (a location the Siegels don't own the rights to) and Darkseid beats Superman absolutely senseless before shooting him (apparently) to death with a Kryptonite ray gun (a substance the Siegels don't own the rights to).
Meanwhile, Metropolis and, specifically, the Daily Star building (which the Siegels presumably own the rights to) get invaded by a vicious horde of parademons (which the Siegels don't own the rights to). Movie two of this trilogy ends on a cliffhanger and then...
Nothing.
Turns out, all the cast and crew were signed to only two films, not three. WB then issues an announcement saying that making a third film simply won't fit in to their strategy and vision for their comic book franchises at this time. 2013 comes and goes and WB loses the rights to the thing so let's let the Siegels handle the job.
Well. The Siegels can't exactly continue the story since (A) Superman seems to be dead and (B) any continuation of the story from Movie 02 requires dealing with characters, locations and other story elements the Siegels don't own the rights to.
Let's just say I, being the almighty overlord of WB, don't feel much like licensing out those things to permit the Siegels to continue.
Oh yeah, and (C) they'd likely want to bring back the original cast and crew for another film... none of whom are under contract. America had an easier time building the railroad than the Siegels would have in managing that minor miracle.
But at the same time, they can't reboot either since The Masses want to see how the existing story wraps up and are in no mood for a restart.
Leave 'em with no place to go for the movies.
Then take out an ad in Variety with just a picture of a hand facing the camera Renewing International Relations/Y'Know, Giving The Finger/Yes, I Know The Finger, Goose with a handwritten note at the bottom saying "This Bud's for you, Joanne and Laura Siegel! Good luck at the movies and fuck you, die slow! Love, WB Management".
Such a move would undoubtedly break the Internet in half with the ensuing fandom meltdown but, hey, you never made an omlette without breaking a few eggs, right? Right? Am I right?
But it'll never happen because the WB folks apparently aren't as vindictive and spiteful as I am.
thecolorsblend- Moderator
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Re: A Thank You Gesture To The Siegels (or "How I Would Have Rebooted Superman")
Interesting thoughts colors. But yea probably will never happen like that. In the end with the heirs I do really really hope they end the dam lawsuit and just reach a dam mutally good deal for all.
webhead2006- Missing In Action
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Re: A Thank You Gesture To The Siegels (or "How I Would Have Rebooted Superman")
IF things came to the point where the "Heirs" took SOME of the Superman character away, it would basically be useless to them. DESPITE what ArchNumbNuts would like to believe.
I like your idea, but I would go with a big fat guy "mooning" them with a shit-eating grin on his face, looking over his shoulder. Classier.
I like your idea, but I would go with a big fat guy "mooning" them with a shit-eating grin on his face, looking over his shoulder. Classier.
Apologist Puncher- Admin
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